Teleplay Before There Was A Giant
Story by Dave Hall & Tim Sulka
Teleplay by Tim Sulka
Lyrics by Dave Hall & Tim Sulka
Music by Dave Hall
EPISODE ONE: JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
Our story so far... After climbing the vine, Jack encounters Mr. Giant, not a real giant, but a giant of commerce and industry, who promises him fame and riches in exchange for signing the rights away to his precious cow painting and all other art. Jack is overwhelmed by all the wealth he sees as Mr. Giant puts on the hard sell.
INT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - MR. GIANT'S OFFICE - DAY
Jack stares up at Mr. Giant who leers. Jack's favorite painting of the cow, Esmerelda, hangs on the wall behind Mr. Giant.
JACK
But I don't know anything about
business, or contracts, or...
(dejected)
...money
MR. GIANT
That's where I come in! If you sign
on the dotted line, I'll make sure that your precious Esmerelda is plastered on lunchboxes, tshirts, skateboards and even mousepads! She'll be bigger than Taylor Swift!
JACK
But will commerce make me happy?
MR. GIANT
You’re an artist. You’re not
supposed to be happy.
JACK
Just starving...
MR. GIANT
That, too! Listen, Jack, what I’ve
done for artists in this city is unprecedented!
Mr. Giant's “team” materializes around him. They sing as he steps up on his desk and strikes a determined pose.
Song: Before There Was a Giant
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
(pointing down at Jack)
THE WORLD WAS SMALL AND PUNY
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
THIS TOWN WAS CRAZY, LOONEY
Mr. Giant jumps down in front of Jack, who shrinks into his chair.
MR. GIANT (CONT’D)
GUYS LIKE YOU NEVER CAUGHT A BREAK
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
MR. GIANT/TEAM
THINK BACK, JACK
Team members rush in carrying trays of food; one a sizzling steak, another with a large piece of chocolate cake. Perfectly choreographed, they sweep past Jack, enticing him, but keeping the food out of his grasp.
MR. GIANT
J'YA EVER HAVE A PIECE OF REALLY
JUICY STEAK?
JACK
(tries, but is unable to
reach the food)
Not really.
MR. GIANT
OR A SLICE OF REALLY, CHOCOLATY,
CHOCOLATY CAKE?
JACK
Mmmmmm...
Mr. Giant pulls Jack up and out of his chair.
INT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - WORKROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Mr. Giant, Jack and Giant's team breeze through a room full of artists busily at work. They perk up, grinning from ear to ear, at the sight of Mr. Giant.
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
THE SUN WOULD NEVER SHINE.
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
IT WAS GRAPE JUICE, NEVER WINE!
GUYS LIKE YOU NEVER STOOD A CHANCE
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
ANOTHER ANGLE
Unseen by Jack, the artists’ legs are shackled to their work tables. All is NOT what it seems.
MR. GIANT/TEAM
THINK BACK, JACK
MR. GIANT
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU GOT A
SECOND GLANCE
FROM ANY PRETTY GIRL AT THE HIGH SCHOOL DANCE?
JACK
Ooh, that reminds me! I have to get my GED!
Jack gets a glimpse of GOLDIE GOSLING, one of the artists,
who smiles at him from her work station where she makes cupcakes. Jack blushes. Mr. Giant grabs his arm and pulls him to the next room.
INT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - GAME ROOM - LATER
Jack and Mr. Giant (in tennis whites) face off in front of a large screen, playing a game of Wii tennis. Mr. Giant is an expert; Jack can barely keep up with him.
MR. GIANT/TEAM
WHAT YOU LACK, JACK
MR. GIANT
IS PRETTY ORDINARY
MR. GIANT/TEAM
WHERE YOU'RE SLACK, JACK
MR. GIANT
IT’S SIMPLY, MONETARY
WHAT YOU NEED IS A GUY WHO CAN
RAISE YOU HIGH
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
MR. GIANT
WHO COULD PUT YOU ON THE INSIDE
TRACK,
Mr. Giant takes a final shot and of course, wins. His team is ready with a towel and robe for him. Jack is on his butt, exhausted.
MR. GIANT/TEAM
JACK!
INT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - DINING ROOM - LATER
In his monogrammed white bathrobe, Mr. Giant sits at a candlelit table, taking small tastes of a wide array of delicacies, spoon-fed by his team. Jack watches hungrily. One of the team periodically wipes Mr. Giant's mouth with a napkin. There’s plenty of food. But none for Jack.
MR. GIANT
I'LL HELP YOU UNRAVEL THE GREATEST
MYSTERY
OF ALL THE BIGGEST MEN IN ALL OF HISTORY
THEN WE'LL TAKE ALL THOSE PAINTINGS ALL BRUSHED AND SWIRLED
AND PUT YOU ON TOP OF THE ARTISTIC WORLD
THINK OF THE GOLD OF TUTANKHAME
SERIES OF SHOTS
Mr. Giant waves away a bowl of noodles.
JACK
Wait! Is that a bowl of ramen?
Mr. Giant contemplates eating a large turkey leg.
MR. GIANT
THINK OF ARTHUR AND HIS CAMELOT
Jack drools at the sight.
JACK
These days, I thinkabout ham - a lot!
Mr. Giant sips from a golden goblet.
MR. GIANT
THEN THINK OF LOUIS AT VERSAILLES
JACK
SORRY, I NEVER HEARD OF THE GUY -
Oooh, pie!
MR. GIANT
REMEMBER, GUY, HERE AM I, STANDING
BY
(stands, slaps Jack on his
back, the force knocking
Jack to the floor.)
COVERIN' YOUR EVER LOVIN' BACK,
MR. GIANT/TEAM
JACK!
GIANT'S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
PATRONIZING ALL THE ARTS
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
GIVING DUMMIES THEIR HEAD STARTS
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
MR. GIANT
EVERYONE ONE WAS JUST DAYDREAMIN'
AND WISHIN'
Jack gets to his knees, peeks around Mr. Giant who remains the focus.
EXT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - ROOFTOP SPA - LATER
Wrapped in his bathrobe, and sitting on a chair/throne, Mr. Giant is being attended by his team; face shaved, nails filed, hair groomed, etc. Jack is ignored, looking the messy unkempt artist he is.
A bite of pie for Mr. Giant and it is taken away.
Mr. Giant stands, holds out his arms. His team removes his robe. Underneath, he wears a new, expensive, designer suit. Once again, he looks impeccable. Even his teeth gleam.
MR. GIANT/TEAM
THINK BACK, JACK
Mr. Giant and his team approach Jack, backing him up step by step.
MR. GIANT
AM I DESCRIBING YOUR POSITION?
MR. GIANT/TEAM
THINK BACK, JACK
Jack backs up, looks around in a panic. He’s running out of room on the roof.
MR. GIANT
WHEN WAS YOUR LAST COMMISSION?
MR. GIANT/TEAM
THINK BACK, JACK
ANOTHER ANGLE
Mr. Giant presses his face into Jack’s who has reached the rooftop edge. Jack gives a sidelong glance at the long drop to the street below him.
MR. GIANT
DID YOU EVER HAVE AMBITION?
WANT TO CRUSH THE COMPETITION?
Mr. Giant pulls Jack safely from harm and puts his arm around him.
MR. GIANT (CONT'D)
STICK WITH ME, YOU AND I, WE'LL
STAND SO HIGH
ANOTHER ANGLE - AERIAL SHOT
Mr. Giant, Jack and the Team stand on the roof of the building, the expanse of the city before them.
MR. GIANT (CONT’D)
WE'LL BE THE LEADERS OF THE WHOLE
DARN PACK, JACK!
INT. GIANT ENTERPRISES - LOBBY - LATEm
Mr. Giant and Jack sweep into the room as the team dances, swirling around Mr. Giant and Jack.
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
THE WORLD WAS SMALL AND PUNY!
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
THIS TOWN WAS CRAZY, LOONEY!
Verse continues instrumentally, dance break.
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
THE SUN WOULD NEVER SHINE.
GIANT’S TEAM
BEFORE THERE WAS A GIANT
MR. GIANT
IT WAS GRAPE JUICE, NEVER WINE!
Verse continues instrumentally, dance break.
MR. GIANT/TEAM
WHAT YOU LACK, JACK
MR. GIANT
IS PRETTY ORDINARY
MR. GIANT/TEAM
WHERE YOU'RE SLACK, JACK
MR. GIANT
IT’S SIMPLY, MONETARY
WHAT YOU NEED IS A GUY WHO CAN
RAISE YOU HIGH
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
MR. GIANT
WHO CAN PUT YOU ON THE INSIDE
TRACK,
MR. GIANT/TEAM
JACK
Mr. Giant is lifted onto a high table by his team. His presence commands the room. Jack stares dizzily as Mr. Giant rolls out a long and complex contract. His team members hold up the contract for Jack.
MR. GIANT
WHAT YOU NEED IS A GUY WHO COULD
RAISE YOU HIGH
GIANT’S TEAM
OOOOOOOOOOH
Holding a gold pen, Mr. Giant lures Jack to the contract, puts the pen in his hand.
MR. GIANT
WHO COULD PUT YOU ON THE INSIDE
TRACK,
MR. GIANT/TEAM
JACK!
Jack’s hand is poised, ready to sign.
(END SONG)
